I informed Dr. Wang that I had no more medication. This meant a COLD TURKEY withdrawal or in the medical professional referred to as an "abrupt withdrawal" with dangerous consequences that put the patients life at potential risk of seizure,loss of consciousness, and death.
On the handout for Valium it states
"Do not change the dose or stop this drug. This could cause seizures. Talk with your doctor. DO NOT STOP TAKING THIS DRUG ALL OF A SUDDEN with calling your doctor. You may have a greater risk of signs of withdrawal. If you need to stop this drug, you will want to slowly stop it as ordered by your doctor. Have your blood work check if you are on this drug for a long time Talk with your Doctor. "(emphasis added) from the wal-mart pharmacy handout
Abrupt withdrawal of diazepam in such cases may also be associated with a temporary increase int the frequency or severity of seizures..."following abrupt discontinuance of diazepam"....symptoms such as "convulsions, tremor, abdominal and muscle cramps, vomiting and sweating. " ..."abrupt discontiuntaion should generally be avoided and a gradual dosage tapering schedule followed." (from Wal-mart diazepam oral warnings.precautions.)
We spoke for an hour, came up with a treatment plan between the two of us, 30 Valium pills , cutting back from the 60 previously prescribed by Dr. Tuttle) 10 pain (from the drug contract, monthly monoring, told him I had to get on the road with my daughter to go to Milwuakee. he left room to speak to supervising dr, he came in shook my hand said I was "in good care with Dr. Wang" and left. less than a few seconds. I was very upset, he had the note from Dr. Rosenberg in hand with highlights, when I asked him why he refused to prescribed he stated it was because of his note, I took it from him, read it quickly saw that negative statements about me were highlighted, I asked why was the statement "we did nothing for her" highlighted in yellow, have anything to do with there decision. I had to leave as my daughter and I were planning to drive to Milwaukee, in fact we had a reservation at the crown plaza that night, which I later cancelled as I spent until nearly 5 , as after speaking with Dr wang, I went to see the Clinic manager about what had happened. I was upset but felt that for whatever reason I was not entitled to have my prescribitons refilled and that I had to live in pain. I felt what was it about me, that these dr.s were treating me this way. I wanted an answer.
It is important to note that at this time I DID NOT KNOW THAT I WAS AT RISK FOR THIS, I was just trying to get my prescriptions refilled as they were working for me. I followed all Dr orders. (see The Merri-go-round post here)
Friday trip to milwaukee, no medication, felt fine
Saturday lizs dr visit, had dinner, wine, 1 whole pain pills, 1/2 Valium
visit daughter apple farm, felt fine
Sunday
no meds
Coffee in morning. that night, woke up with sweats at 3 am horrible stomach pain and massive amounts of lose stools, thought I had the stomach flu. felt very sick and weak all day. No alcohol. very little to eat, chicken canned soup and crackers.
Monday
no meds
I was feeling very anxious all day, heart pounding , feeling speedy but thought it must be the coffee and at dinner I had two glasses of red wine as I thought that might calm the uncomfortable feeling I was having. That evening before bed I could not get to sleep as I had the most uncontrollable urge to shake my right leg, at one point it shook widely by itself up in the air, later my right big toe cramped up and rose to the ceiling and I could not get it back down for almost 7 minutes it was very painful and frightening.
Tuesday
no med. I had another anxious day , yet I still attributed it to too much coffee, I awoke very anxious, my whole body was wet with sweat , I had placed two fans on me the night before as I thought my room was too hot, I slept on top of covers. that morning I avoided coffee, I felt as if I were on speed, my body and head had weird tingle sensations. That evening I had one glass of red wine , again to take "the edge off" .
Wednesday Er visit Oct 21 2015
Awoke in morning with racing heart. Did not understand why. I had had a cup and half of coffee and thought that that must be it. When I was cleaning the cat liter in the morning I felt very sad and had a sense that life made no sense anymore, there was a deep depression setting in. As it was my daughters b day in two days I had much shopping to do, I went to the dollar tree, I felt very strange, dream like, depressed, sad and there was a little girl in a stroller with a toy that made noise and I found it to be so loud as to be nearly unbearable, I found myself irritated and the said to myself, my gosh what is wrong with you, normally you would look at this cute little girl and smile, yet the sound of her toy ran into my body and was still highly upsetting, I had to get out of there as soon as I could, I bought the balloons quickly and left. I began to feel very very thirsty.
Then I needed to go to wall-mart to get a cake and to pick up the scrip from Wang as I thought it might help my symptoms (reduced dose of gabentin and flexeril) . My heart was still racing and now my hands and feet were sweating and yet felt cold. I began to shake, when I picked up a greeting card I was shaking . My thirst was like none I ever felt before. I began to cry and feel very dissociated from where I was. It was dream like, I felt confused and found it difficult to pick out what I needed for my daughters party, I made a call to Nuero nurse Triage nurse telling her what was happening left message 11 14 missed call at 11 53 , they left message called back at 11 55 and at 12 02 . Then called family medical and spoke with Terry, called again at 12 ;1610 in er ,took another 5 because of script, felt normal
I called bone and joint and spoke with Vicky at 4 13 and spoke to her for 36 min, she was very helpful, I told her to inform Dr. Rosenburg of what had happened to me.
I was so frightened that I called a pray line at 4 51
Thursday follow up visit per ER insturction
Dr.Wang visit at 3:00 Liz came with me, I was stunned that he came in alone. I asked where were the other two doctors, he appeared as if he did not know what I was talking about. I told him that I was informed that the two supersiorig doctors would be present by The triage nurse. I took out the paper work that I had obtained from the ER on Benzo withdrawal and the papers I picked up from the Wallmart pharmacy that stated under treatment:
"...Often,treatment includes a prescription for a long acting benzodiazepine, the dosage of which is reduced SLOWLY over a long period. this period could be several weeks or months. Eventually , your dosage will reduced to a point that you can stop taking the drug, without experiencing withdrawal symptoms. THIS IS CALLED TAPERED WITHDRAWAL. " (emphasis added)
stated to and showed him that the clinical impression was "benzodiazepine withdrawal"
Wang visit , took 10 felt good because Jenna, nurse told me to
Dr. Bowman
taped conversation, had witness to his deamenour
Was told that Dr. Adam Tuttle would call in script
I called from the offices a t 4 26 left message, as instructed by Dr. Bownman. call returned at 4 54 spoke for13 minutes, I AKSED TO BE SEEN, was told no, but I could call, during hours, no weekends, and if I had any trouble I should go to the ER. I asked the nurse to put that in writing, that they WOULD NOT MONOTOR the tapered dose given to me, refused to see me.
Feelings of terror its effect on me and my family
Friday
Daughters 16th party, no alcohol, unable to enjoy, fearful, preoccupied, took 5, trying to go down slowly HAD TO CANCEL TRIP TO MOTHERS, Called American Airlines at 12:43
Saturday
half a pill at 3, very very anxious, bed rest, husband came home, miserable diarrhea . 19 year old daughter, broke down and cried for fear of me dying. Very very distraught, boyfriend was present.
Sunday
bed rest, half a pill, at 3 feeling like I was making progress as I was getting off of reg does, halving it, felt surreal. very difficult to make dinner, had to repeat what I was trying to do, made a goulash that I have made for years by heart, kept forgetting ingredients, took me extra long, irritable, loud noises, ate small bowl of soup
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